Remember Remember the 5th of November 2017

One Year ago, on November 5th 2017, the worst and deadliest mass shooting happened in Texas, happened at the First Baptist Church In Sutherland Spring Texas. That day, a deranged gunman stepped into a church and cried, “Everybody Die!” That day 26 people died and 20 others were injured.

Although the Devil sent has destroying angel that day, God sent his own angel. You see when the shooter went out to his vehicle to get more ammunition, he was confronted by an NRA instructor, Stephen Willeford, who proceeded to shot the shooter twice before he was able to escape.

Stephen Willeford and Johnnie Langendorff pursued the shooter at high speeds, up to 95 MPH for about five to seven minutes. Until the shooter crashed his vehicle due to his loose of blood and suicide.

After this tragedy I remember some people mockingly ask the question, “Where was your God?”

Why does God allow bad things to happen in this world? Does He not care about us? Does he not listen to us? Does He not love us?

Many will look at situations like this and asked the question why. Why does God allow bad things happen to good people? If there was a God who actually loves and cares about us, why would he not stop evil things from happening to good and innocent people?

Many will say that there is no God, for if there were, then the world would not be as lost as it is today. It is those who are lost because it is they who have not found or do not believe that God has a plan for us. They do not understand where we came from, Why we are here, and where we will be going. They do not understand that salvation is upon us all. All we need to do is try. All we need to do is look. All we need to do is believe. All we need to do is be changed. All we need to do is love.

Although God has the power and Magisty to stop the hurt and suffering. That’s not how God works, that’s not his plan.

God has a plan. His plan is to prove each of us. His plan is for us to prove ourselves, whether we will seek the good or we will seek the evil. Whether we will make good choices or whether we will make the evil choice. When evIl is staring us in the eye, do we look away or do we cast it out? When we see suffering will we lend a shoulder to cry on or will we walk away. When others are being shot and murdered in cold blood will we cower in our homes or decide to protect our neighbors?

The reason is simple. How can we know the good unless we can see and understand the bad? How can we fill love if we don’t know and understand what is hate? How can we stand up for the innocent is their are no victims? How can we know joy if we don’t know and understand sorrow? How can we bear one another’s burdens if their are no burdens to bear? How can we serve others if everyone has already been served? How can we wrap our arms around those that are suffering if we never suffer.

You see God loves us so much that like a parent He has to let us make our own mistakes and learn for ourselves. Like a parent, He taught us right from wrong and gave each of us the gift to know good from evil. He taught us all the greatest of all the Commandments, Love.

Did he not teaches us to love our neighbor? Did he not teach us about his gift, that he gave to everyone? It is this gift, that is given to all that enables us all to be saved from evil and eternal death. Some feel that we have been asked so much and yet we have been only asked just to look and believe.

God has a plan for each of us. He even sent his own Son to teach and sanctify each and everyone of us. The Son not only taught us and confirmed this plan but he suffered and died for all of us.

He didn’t just feel pain and fatigue but He suffered it all. He knows what each and everyone of us have felt and feel. He had to suffer it all from the highest good to the lowest evil, from the most enlightened to the most egregious infirmities. He knows all because he suffered all. He tasted not only of death but also of spiritual death so that we could all live.

You see God is given us all gifts and he is no respecter of persons. This gift is giving to all of us. This gift is given to even those who don’t seek it or can’t find it.

Why can’t we be more like angels? Why can’t we be more willing to try? Why can’t we be brave? Why do we hide in the dark when their is so much light? Why do we always look for the bad when there is so much good.

Has God not give each of us empathy, which is one of the most precious gifts of all? Can we not feel as others feel even though we personally are not suffering? Can we not feel their pain and see their struggles? Are we not pricked in our hearts when we see someone suffering and in need? Does His Spirit not testify to your very soul to act and be more like Him? And in that very moment are we not called to be his Angel? Are we not all His Angels, sent to give his love, to give his Charity?

Charity is the pure love of Christ and it is powerful. This is why we are here. This is what we are to do. This is why he allows evil into the world. We are here to find good and to be willing to follow it. We are here to be a little better than we were yesterday. To love more than we do today. To make the choice to change and not be led astray.

To continually seek improvement and enlightenment. To be more like our Father. To know him better and to suffer so others can have the opportunity to give.

God has sent his angels and we have them all around us. Some you can see and others you can not. But they are not there to take away the evil of this world but they are there to help us bear one another’s burdens. They are there to help us know God more than we could have without them. And that is why we are here to learn and to grow and to follow his example because we, like Him, have a plan and He has prepared a paradise for us were we will all have the opportunity to continue to learn and to grow and become more like Him.

This paradise is a place that is so beautiful and spectacular that we all would be willing to die to get there and yet must live to be there.

Before coming to this world we lived with our Father and there God shared and taught all of us about His plan and when we heard it we all cheered. (Job 38:4-7) We all cheered because we all knew and were promised the opportunity to become more like Our Father. We all cheered because each and every one of us would be given the opportunity to live and to grow and to return.

We understood that there was going to be pain, suffering, and evil. But there would also be pleasure, relief and joy.

We were all taught about His plan for salvation and you and I cheered. We cheered because his plan wasn’t for a few but for all of His children. His plan was for every nation and race. His plan was for us all.

As part of his plan we were all promised not only to know about this plan but be given a series of gifts so precious and pure.

One of those gifts was a physical body, full of every kind of passion and emotion. A tabernacle of his own creation and his own design, much like his own. With this tabernacle we would become more like our Father. We all wanted what he had and wanted to know and feel as He does.

Another Gift we were given was freedom of choice. The freedom to choose and blaze our own journey through this life. But we were not to go alone, so He gave us another gift. He sent a portion of His Spirit with us. (D&C 88:5-15) This Spirit would have the power the speak and testify to our very souls. It would have the power to cleans and purify us. It would have the power to connect us. It would have the power to guide us through this life. We would never be completely alone.

Finally God had one last and most glorious gift of all. The gift of salvation. Even though we would be separated from our bodies for a time we would be able to take them again for all eternity. But the second time, these tabernacles would be pure and whole and perfect like Him.

Is it no wonder why we all cheered? Is it no wonder why we were all so willing and anxious to go? Yes there would be those who would choose not to follow and would be led away. Their would be those would wouldn’t listen. But their would be far more that would listen, always seeking, always choosing to do good and turning away from the wicked. There would be far more that would hear good and see good and become good. And it is those, who when they come before God and His Son, will beg them to come and to stay. It will be those who will want to stay. It will be those who will cheer again.

They will not feel guilt or shame but instead love and acceptance for who they are and who they have become. It is they who will want to be with the Father and His Son again where we will all be together as an eternal family.

It is here that we will be One with God because we would be like Him, knowing good from evil, feeling and partaking of the Spirit and Love of God, basking in his Grace. Knowing the highest highs and the lowest lows. It is here where we continue to learn and grow and truly knowing God and becoming more like Him for all eternity.

Is this not his plan? Does His Spirit not speak and prick your very soul that this is true?

I testify that He does and it is. And to all those who know and understand his plan it is our responsibility to share this good news and to share and to teach it to others.

The Mormon Family Proclamation Creed

The Family - A Creed for the Church

The Mormon Church is not a safe space for open discussions.  To prove this point, I want to share an experience that I had last year, while I was attending a gospel doctrine class.  This was a typical meeting where everyone, including myself, was half paying attention to the instructor.  We were discussing the all common topic of modern day revelation.  I observed that we were all mentally comatose and numb to our own spiritual drool.

The class started by pointing out what revelation was and in what forms and ways do revelations appear. We talked about personal revelation and modern day revelation.

After about 30 minutes of hearing all of the same points I heard someone across the room share an example of modern-day revelation and they shared that the Family Proclamation was a perfect example of how inspired the Prophet and the 12 Apostles are.  It was at this point that I swallowed my spittle and allowed my eyes to refocus.  

Why? Well, I personally am torn by this document. Although the Family Proclamation is a wonderful document, it in my mind is concerning and really isn’t a good example of modern day revelation.  This document was not written by the Prophet nor the 12 Apostles, it was a result of court cases that involved defining the definition of the family and a world wide family conference that refused to use the word marriage to describe the family unit.

President Boyd K. Packer described the circumstances behind issuing the Proclamation:

The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve issued a proclamation on the family. I can tell you how that came about. They had a world conference on the family sponsored by the United Nations in Beijing, China. We sent representatives. It was not pleasant what they heard. They called another one in Cairo. Some of our people were there. I read the proceedings of that. The word marriage was not mentioned. It was at a conference on the family, but marriage was not even mentioned.

It was then they announced that they were going to have such a conference here in Salt Lake City. Some of us made the recommendation: “They are coming here. We had better proclaim our position.”[4]

This document does clearly state the churches position on the family and the importance of marriage.  It does not revel any new doctrines but instead reinforces our stance on the importance of marriage and the traditional roles of women and men.  Unfortunately this document is now used by the media and other groups to prove that the Mormon Church and its members hate gays and all that they stand for. 

I personally believe strongly in eternal marriage and eternal families but I don’t believe that Jesus would want us closing our doors to anyone. Nor do I think that we have all of the understanding and revelation on this subject.

I do find it perplexing and concerning that the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith and Jesus himself say nothing about eternal marriage and yet we all act like we have receive everything on the matter.

I completely understand what the bible says about gay relationships but is that doctrine or culture? If this is doctrine then are women suppose to keep quite in the church and just cover their heads?

Also according to Mormon beliefs, any relationship outside an eternal and everlasting relationship is a sinful relationship because only eternal relationships are divine and godly relationships. So are we to shun and ostracize all couples that marry outside the temple? Same goes for those who never marry or are single. We don’t do this today nor should we.

I’m not saying that I think the temple should or would ever have gay marriage ceremonies. I do feel strongly that they have a role and place at church and we should not hold up the Proclamation of the Family as a club to beat them out of our Church.  We need to find a way to bring them into the church for they also have divine heritage.

Voice of Decent

So in this Gospel Doctrine class I raised my hand and made a challenging comment because I wanted to truly discuss the concern.

“Is the Proclamation to the Family considered revelation or should we consider it like the creeds of old?”

Well as you can imagine I caught the attention of the entire class.  Nearly all of the class actually looked away from their glowing screens long enough to see who made that comment.  What soon followed was a slew of one-sided dogmatic opinions. “Well the Prophet signed it and it was sent to all the church so of course it is revelation.”  So in other words “Well duh!”

But to my surprise there was one member who also sat in the very back who raised his hand and made a very astute observation. “Not everything that a prophet says is doctrine or revelation. Look at blacks and the priesthood. We really messed that one up didn’t we.”

This thought-provoking comment gave me hope. Hope that I was not the only person in the room that was willing and able to ask a truly meaningful question and get a truly profound discussion on what revelation is and how it is not infallible and can even be wrong.

Unfortunately my glimmer of hope was quickly dashed when my phone received a multitude of messages from my loving and red faced wife. She was completely embarrassed by my question and wanted to make sure I knew it.

She exclaimed, “Dumb comment Seth! Please don’t embarrass me with dumb comments that everyone already knows the answer too. You are not being philosophical. Lisa (My wife’s Best Friend) agrees you were trying to be challenging and antagonistic in such a immature stupid way.”

I sat there frustrated and burdened with the painful situation of wanting to engage in the lesson but not wanting to offending my wife.

However, I couldn’t help myself and had to ask a follow up question to brother to the brother in the back. “I wonder why we canonized the Official Declaration 2 but haven’t canonized the Family Proclamation?”

Once again the room erupted with reinforcing comments.  “If we canonized everything the prophet says then we would have volumes of scriptures.”

I wanted to challenge and ask a follow up question, “Is everything that the prophet says considered revelation and worthy of becoming scripture?”

But once again I was cut off by my loving and completely mortified wife, “You need to knock it off. You are not being thought provoking when you ask those kind of dumb questions. Everyone that answered the question you already knew the answer to was trying to bring the spirit back into the room and both Lisa and I could tell they were annoyed with you.”

I conceded and decided to refrain from further participation.  It was obvious my comments were not appreciated. 

Yeah there is a part of me that admits I was being selfish because I wanted to actually engage in a true discussion.  I wanted to hear everyone views and opposing opinions even if they were all one-sided.   But I also realize that the current format of Sunday School does not create a safe space for those that have either opposing views or challenging questions that doing have neat and pretty bows tied around them.

My Prayer

I pray that the church would change the format for gospel doctrine. I wish the format challenged every point and counter point and encouraged each lay member to now only have their own opinions but to also allow them to vocalize those opinions and create a safe space to do so.

If I could go back to that lesson, and was given the opportunity to teach the lesson in this new format, it would have gone something like this.

I would start with a brief introduction and explain that I’m not a teacher but a moderator and facilitator. It is my sole responsibility to moderate and help facilitate today’s discussion. I’m not the smartest and most spiritual one in the room but the class as a whole is.

I would write our topic on the board and circle it. But instead of giving an object lesson or some other attention getting example I would explain that this class is a safe space and that opposing views are not only warranted but perfectly normal. I would talk about agency and how agency is the keystone of the plan of salvation. I would also explain how important it is for each and every one of us has made covenants to bear own another’s burdens and to exercise it an not let is shrink and atrophy.

I would say something like, “Each and everyone of you are given the gift of agency and have the been given the right to interpret the scriptures and the doctrine of the church as the holy ghosts testifies to you. I affirm that we claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.”

Then I would take out my tool belt and I would break down and take apart the topic we were meant to truly discuss. I would deconstruct every point that was made and examine it, turning it over until every comment angle was observed.

I would say something like, “So if I understand you correctly, every time the prophet speaks, that is revelation?” Then let the class agree or disagree. If the majority of the class agrees then I would take the opposite view point and challenge that assumption because their will be a silent minority that will not agree and their voice needs to be heard and represented.

I would then give an example of a time that a prophet who didn’t conform to their elementary answer and ask the class to use their phones to find other examples.

Once we exhausted and have come to a very gray consensus around when is revelation a revelation we would move on to the next aspect that we should uncover and inspect.

After breaking the main topic down completely, we would then begin to put it all back together and see if it looked exactly the way it did before. Only in this kind of format can we truly have safe and open discussions about the gospel and what it means to have the fullness of the gospel.

To conclude the lesson I would thank the class for their participation and willingness to be vulnerable and share their testimonies with each other. I would then admonish the class to ponder and to pray about the topic and allow the Holy Ghost to continue to testify of truth in every part is their lives.

If every Sunday was like that, I would not only think about church all week long, but I would pine for it unceasingly.

I pray for our leaders to not only be inspired to see that the current teaching format is an unfulfilling spiritual snack. I pray that they will have the vision and revelation to know how to change the format so that every week we are strengthened by a Thanksgiving feast.

This is my prayer Amen.

Where is the Doctrine in Gospel Doctrine Class?

Image of the Holy Bible

It really bothers me that our Sunday School classes in the Mormon church are not safe places to discuss the Bible. Sure we read the Bible and fully accept it as a divine work from God. But we are only allowed to understand and interpret it as it has been “revealed”.

What do I mean by “revealed”? I mean that if I gain any insight about the scriptures that hasn’t been discovered by a Prophet or Apostle then it must not be true or accurate.

Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago we were reading and discussing the story and topic of Joesph getting sold into Egypt by his jealous brothers. We talked about how Joseph soon became the Pharaohs right hand man and how Joseph sees his family bowing down to him in order to buy food because of the 7 year famine in the land. I notice a few things that I found fascinating.

1. It mentions that they came to purchase corn.

Gen. 42:1

Now when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said unto his sons, Why do ye look one upon another?

I first checked my Strongs Concordance to make sure that corn is a good translation. I found out that it was. I was surprised by this because I thought corn was only found in America. I did some quick searching on google and found that in fact there was corn discovered in Egypt that dated back to that same time. But I decided not to share this with the class.

2. Jacob sends 10 of his sons but doesn’t send Benjamin.

Genesis 42:4

But Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, Jacob sent not with his brethren; for he said, Lest peradventure mischief befall him.

Which either indicates he is still rather young or now he is the one that Jacob is favoring over his other brothers. Benjamin and Joseph’s mother is Rachael and there seems to be something special about Rachael that Jacobs other wives don’t have. My thoughts were that she came from a royal and divine linage after all Joseph was given holy robes known as the garments that were given to Adam in the Garden of Eden, even though he was the younger brother.

3. We discussed how Joseph cunningly devises a plan to help his family and get them to bring Benjamin back to Egypt. He first accused them of being spies and throws them into prison for 3 days. He then keeps one of the brothers, Simeon and sends the rest of the brothers back to bring back their youngest brother.

Gen 42:32-35

32 We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan.

33 And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone:

34 And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land.

It was at this point that I had the insight that Joseph might not know that he has a younger brother or might wonder if his brothers also killed his brother Benjamin like they tried to do to him.

I thought this was a very insightful observation and so I raised my hand and shared this with the group. As quickly as I shared my observation it was quickly dismissed. Instead of recognizing my observation and asking for insights from the group if their were others that also interpreted this passage the same way, my perspective was quickly brushed aside. “Yeah, maybe.”

You see because this observation wasn’t quoted and cross referenced in the teachers manual it was quickly swept aside and discarded.

It is experiences like this that makes me fume at church. I don’t blame the instructor because this experience is all to common. It is an attitude that is so deep in our Mormon Culture. We like to pride ourselves on our dedication to reading the scriptures as long as our interpretation is lock step with what we perceive is the “true” interpretation.

It also is almost completely devoid of any critical thinking. To often I sit there enjoying the lesson and enjoying the peace that comes from reading and discussing the scriptures only to be interrupted by a critical thought that I feel needs to be expressed but unable to do so. I have from time to time tried to express these critical thoughts to openly discuss them with the larger group only to be immediately be shamed or dismissed.

Here is the crux of my frustration. Every week I faithfully attend church and attend gospel doctrine, who is taught by someone who in many cases know less about the scriptures than I do. We don’t encourage any of our teachers to have degrees in theology or even study the Bible before teaching it. There is no middle eastern study class that they need to take before diving into teaching the Old and New Testament.

I know it is a lot to ask since we have a lay clergy who don’t get paid to expound the scriptures. But if we truly believe that the Bible contains the words of God then shouldn’t having someone who has dedicated their life to understanding its contents be the one who expounds its meaning to us lay members?

I personally don’t think this is too much to ask. If we truly believe that the Bible is Devine then it deserves our utmost attention and dedication.

I hope and pray for a day when gospel doctrine class not only is a safe place to openly discusses the doctrines found in the bible but also allows each of us the space to discuss our own interpretation without judgement and dismissal. I look forward to a day when we are encouraged feast on the words of God and enjoy its beautiful complexity, instead of being force fed the same bland soup that doesn’t feed or nourish my soul.

Why Mormon Musings?

As a life long Mormon, I have come to a place where my inner authority has taken over and I no longer believe every doctrine I was taught as a child.

With that said I still attend church every week, have a current temple recommend and believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet.

The purpose of this blog is to talk about my understanding of Mormon doctrines and how I may or may not agree with them.

-Hyrum Freeman